This is the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world

I thought I'd try my hand at writing. This is a story. A story people.

Three girls
Three amigos
Big egos
Them against the world
They generally won
Inseparable is an overused term
Something happened
It fell apart
Now we're down to two
How'd it happen?
Couldn't exactly tell ya 

One girl
All alone
What did she do?
Long story
Endless tears
Endless fears
Where'd everyone go?
School was miserable.
She thought you were on her side
She was wrong
She braved the world 
Her against the world
She tried so hard
But she lost
There was no light at the end of the tunnel

Two girls
Tear producing
What happened?
She doesn't know
But it secretly makes her happy
She's not the only one affected
She is independent
Don't need friends
Don't need those friends
It's painful
It'd be nice
But she's learned about poison from her mom
She can handle herself
After all,
She's been doing it for awhile
Everything will work out

One becomes two
Two becomes one
She likes this math problem
She always liked math
Even now
Tables turned
For once
She's on the other side
She's not so alone anymore
Everything worked out
Not perfect
But close

Looking back
The light was always there
She's glad she made the journey
Because now she has support
And lessons to share


Exchange love not drugs

Before you read any further, please just remember that I love Christmas. I really do. So don't get any thoughts otherwise!

But I'm just so stressed. Because these past few years have come the time when the kids in my family have to buy each other presents with our own money. And I'm horrible at finding worthy gifts to give.
Hor. Ri. Ble.
Plus the fact that I used to have to rely on others to take me to buy presents but then of course you can't buy their present because you're with them so then you have to go a different time and get a ride from another person! URGGGH.

However this year has been a bit easier. Only due to the fact that I now have the means to drive myself places. But I'm out of cash. Go figure. And I'm out of ideas. Completely burnt of brain waves to help me channel peoples needs. So family, don't be offended, it's the best I could think of. Also it won't offend me if you take it back for something better. Feel free.

To me that's the worst thing about Christmas. The gifts. I know they're supposed to represent something much more than the material aspect. But I don't care. I'm not a Grinch, I swear. And yes getting some awesome gifts each year is great (because let's face it, I did NOT inherit my madre's ability to pick amazing gifts). But after the past coupla years picking out cheap gifts for my brothers when they'd rather have these expensive electronics that I can't afford made me realize that I'd rather just spend it with family. I'd rather have all the events and traditions that go along with Christmas without the gift giving. It really would just make the season that much happier!!!

Then there is the subject on who to give presents to. If someone gives me a gift and I didn't get them one, I feel like a total jerk. So how do you choose? I dunno. So I'm not even gonna touch that subject.

But because I'm trying to not focus on all that silly stuff, I am now focusing on the traditions in my family that make it the special time of year it is for me :)

1. My amazing great-grandma (93 and still strong!) always sends us these special figurines that open to reveal cash that we distribute unevenly. This year she sent my mom and I Grinch socks that are so darling! I love her :)

2. If you drive by my house, you will see a Mexican Santa called Ho Ho and chili pepper lights. What other house has that? Yeah that's what I thought. If you want a story about Ho Ho, just ask.

3. On Christmas Eve, we are allowed to open one gift. But only after we've sung and/or danced to earn it. In years past my favorite memories have been when my eldest brother sang "Silent Night":
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
All is right

HA. Okay to me that was funny.

4. We always decorate sugar cookies. The little ones look like...beautiful art....And mine and my brothers tell stories about wars because we use the red icing for blood.

5. This year my cousin Millie who lives in Holland is visiting with her husband and new baby and I'm secretly excited for that. Mostly because I love babies. Haha.

6. Kevin and I (hopefully) will renew our membership to the Polar Bear Club by getting onthe spa, rolling around in the snow, and then quickly getting back in before you realize how much pain you're in. It's great :)

Like I said, I LOVE Christmas. But in all reality, I just live the season. It's a great time of year to show our love to our friends, family and our Savior. It just doesn't always have to be through the exchanging of gifts.


Diff'rent Strokes

The Hopkinson Family:
It consists of a father, a mother, three children and a stupid cat.
The five (and a half-ish) could become the most outrageous sitcom you have ever experienced.
No. Joke.
Here are some screenplays (is that what you call em?) I have written. Ok not really. They actually happened people. This is real life, not the matrix. Prepare yourself for awesomeness and attractiveness.


[Camera is at back of an LDS Chapel. Camera pans down to a pew near the middle of the right section. Family is seated left to right as such: Andy, Kevin, Nicole, Mom, Dad. Quiet whispers fill the room as the meeting is just about to begin]

ANDY:  Wanna hear a joke?
ANDY: What did the hand say to the face?
ANDY: Slap!!!! 

[Andy then slaps Nicole in the face] 



[Enter the same scene as ACT I. The meeting has just started and the Bishop is speaking and the opening song is just about to begin. Andy leans in close to Kevin and Nicole]

ANDY: We should come up with ironic superhero names for ourselves
NICOLE: What do you mean?
ANDY: Like Kevin would be The Flash*
NICOLE: What would I be?
ANDY: Hawk Girl
NICOLE: How is that ironic?
ANDY: Because you can't fly!
NICOLE: That's the lamest ironic superhero name I've ever heard
ANDY: [Mockingly] Fine, you can be wonderwoman!
NICOLE: No. You can be wonderwoman, because you're a boy!
KEVIN: He can be The Brainiac

[family proceeds to laugh all throughout opening song and prayer]


*Kevin is a gimp. No I am NOT making fun of my brother. Anyone who knows us knows that he himself came up with that nickname and he embraces it. So it is ironic that he be called The Flash, when he can't run worth anything. However, if anyone but family and close friends call him the gimp, you will pay. Have a nice day :)


[Enter scene of Hopkinson Family kitchen. All members are seated around the table happily feasting on dinner. The TV is on and the family is watching a show about science and religion]

NICOLE: I hate scientists
ANDY: I hate robots
KEVIN: I hate clowns



[A few minutes later than ACT III, the channel is changed and the family is now watching a show about....who knows what? Something about politics]

NICOLE: Is that what they're calling it now? "The Great Recession"?
ANDY: I'm calling it Frank
NICOLE: Frank's an ugly name
ANDY:....for an ugly time


Yep. Thats my fam. Call me if you're interested in producing something. Cause this is priceless material right here. If you don't like it, then it's a good thing you're not apart of this marvelous family.

Peace yo :)


Me and my two-woman-pokemon-wranglin gang

Sometimes my best friend and I plan random last minute sleepovers. But that's okay. Because it's never awkward as we figured out.

And because I know you are all sooo jealous of our adventures, I will break it down for you


1. You must plan it at the last minute. Because planning ahead of time is for squares. And it's hip to be a square. (Name that artist and I'll give you a hug)

2. Do not eat dinner with your family but instead go to Wendy's and pig out. However you must drive separate cars to your dining facility of choice because you are young and you can both drive but you can't drive each other.

3. Then upon arriving home, you pop in a tape of someone's dance recital video and watch a few numbers.

4. And a sleepover wouldn't be complete without a hot tubbing party, eh? It lasts for about 2-3 hours (or until feet are so hideously pruned you can't stand it). During said alotted time for hot tub goodness, you discuss boys, awkwardness, randomness, you text boys, and come up with analogies and quotes.

5. Now it's movie time. Pick your favorite movie. Preferably a chick flick (today was set aside for Harry Potter as Dani is reading them for the first time. I'm so proud :). I would recommend tons of sugar, soda (with caffeine cuz I'm a rebel) and activities to keep you alert and awake. Although if you both fall asleep it doesn't matter because sleep is divine.

Some analogies for you to think about (and may or may not have had names taken out and/or have been edited):

"[Boys] are like puppies. Nicole just can't have a puppy."

"Boys are like pokemon. They're just not good until they evolve."


I'm losin it

I feel like I'm drowning.
I literally do.

There are so many assignments I have yet to turn in that have been due for many eons.
I am up to my neck in homework. And the sad thing is, I have the time to do it.
I just am freaking out because I don't know what to do. Sometimes I just panic and I can't breath and I have to tell myself that I have to focus if I want to get into BYU.

BYU is the ONLY option. Because let's face it, it is.

........I used to be smart. I really did.........
I was in GT (Gifted and Talented. And yes I AM bragging)
I was special
I was tested (not for being crazy)
I. was. SMART

But now I feel ordinary. And that's ok. I just don't know how to keep up with everyone else. And by everyone else I mean homework.

Why can't I have my smart brain back?


Thoughts for the day

Another list. Cry me a river. This is how I roll. If my mom were to ask me, "What did you learn at school today," this would be my response:

¿I hate courier font. HATE. IT. It's ugly

¿Theta looks like a pokeball

¿I hope I get this job. Please say those judges had a sense of humor and realize I was bold and daring instead of insensitive and cruel.

¿I love you appendix. Please don't burst on me.

¿Clinton, please show up to practice or I'll stop saying please.
¿I shouldn't be allowed to touch scissors when trimming my own bangs. Hello headbands and bobby pins

¿Please buy ballroom tickets

¿I want a raspberry beret
¿Hey YOU. Yeah. YOU. Please buy a ballroom ticket and come watch me :) (yes Rachel I said it TWICE! Whatcha gonna do!?)

¿I'm excited for half day :)

¿I made my senior year schedule.

¿Why are your hugs awkward?

¿Banana bread soon

¿Someone wanna play a legit game of Risk and/or Monopoly? Please say yes

¿I like closing my eyes and listening to concerts rather than watching them

¿Hercules vs. Physics. Hercules wins every time

¿Be a Russian. Not "a-rushin"

¿Just ask me on a date already


Top 10 reasons YOU should come to my concert:

Alas, today was a 5 hour ballroom tech rehearsal! Hoo-rah.
I only bring this up because that means the Christmas Ballroom Concert is just around the corner! So next Friday and Saturday, you should clear your schedule for your favorite ballroom dancer and buys a ticket from ME. Not some other person. But me, Nicole Marie.

And to help persuade you if you are having doubts about coming, here are some reasons to buy a ticket:

1. You love me
2. You love ballroom
3. You love watching me dance ballroom
4. I might possibly stick a fake gun to you head if you don't.
5. I might cry if you don't
6. There are TONS of new dances so I promise it won't be boring or the same as last year.
7. Tickets are only $4 for you school-going kids
8. You love me.
9. You may not love me but you love someone else in ballroom. But you still buy a ticket from me because I asked you first and you still love me enough to know that the threats are real ;)
10. You secretly want to come anyways so don't hide that feeling. Just come. It's ok!

Now don't you wanna come? Yes, that's what I thought. Oh and 11. I may or may not bake you banana bread. Guess you'll just have to come and find out, huh?

P.S. An edit for the last post: just so you don't think I'm a skank, NOTHING HAPPENED. I was just a-wishin. Wishing, people. That is all :)


Spreadin' Rhythm Around

Sooooo......I will talk about dance again. This is your warning and chance to look away.
Okay that's enough prior warning.
Anywho, on the night of Monday I went to my little cousins dance recital. We will call her little missy. And holy crap batman. She was the cutesyest thing EVAH. I haven't seen something that cute since I was 3 years old! So then it got me thinking: I was in dance once. I had a few dance recitals at one point in my life. And I KNEW we had a video of the whole recital somewhere. Problem was, it is still in the pile of junk in our storage room that has existed since we moved here 4 years ago. And it was a VHS.. Boo.

But I was determined to find it and whaddya know? I did :D (AND I found Saturdays Warrior and Thumb Wars so if you wanna watch that, I now have access to that awesomeness!)

I found the tiniest TV in existance that miraculously had a VCR. I know great, right?
Then I plugged it up in my room, scooted real close to it, rewound it to my numbers and had a party with myself.

Can I just say I was the cutesyest little dancer in the world (except of course for little missy :)

That video brought back priceless memories that will stick with me for forever. And it also made me miss dance. Yeah I know I'm a ballroom dancer, but that doesn't fill the need. I wanna be able to feel the music and dance whatever I wanna. Ballroom has just set choreography. Don't get me wrong, I love it with my whole soul and I love bring able to act. However I miss the structure and craziness of ballet and tap.

When I moved here I was given the choice of finding a new dance studio or ballroom. It just worked out that I stuck with ballroom. I've had so many great times and met so many amazing people through Timpviews program. Then the days come along were I watch someone perform a heartfelt lyrical piece and I yearn for that.

I just wanna dance my soul out