Thoughts for you sane people

Here are the "juices of my brain" from today:

-What are "juices in your brain" anyways?

-If Dumbledore, Darth Vader, Gandolf, TMNT, and the Power Rangers were all to get in a duel, Dumbledore would definitely win.

-I'm pretty sure I had an imaginary friend named "Big Nicole" when I was little. Still haven't quite figured that one out yet...

-I want to be a witch

-"There are no boys to be had in jail." So don't kill their girlfriends or else you'll go there and have nobodys

-I hate Bingo.
So. Much.

-Whoever said I was better at standard than Latin was wro-ong

-Do you think if I practice more I'll get better?

-I really need to do something with David Archuleta in my room....

-Arps and craps please??

-I want a Newtons Cradle. Twas the only thing awesome about physics. I know what I want for Christmas :)

-I wonder where my old dance recital video is?

-I have a purpose that no other can fulfill

-Raise your right hand and repeat after me:
I will be nice to others.
That is all


Who's wicked now?

We used to be such good friends.
Like Glinda and Elphaba.
And no matter what you think of me, "because I knew you, I have been changed for good".
But the only thing I can't figure out is..
which one of us is Elphaba?......


Disney read my mind

Because I'm such a not-boring person I shall post the lyrics to a song. But a favorite song with my commentary in parenthesis (for no reason of course). Behold:

[Meg] (a.k.a. Nicole):
If there's a prize for rotten judgement (rotten? Try horribly disgusting)
I guess I've already won that (every day if my life)
No man is worth the aggravation (where's my rock?)
That's ancient history (or recent)
Been there, done that (can I get a hallelujah?!)

[Muses] (a.k.a Emily, Vanessa, and Lynnsay):
Who'd ya think you're kiddin' (I'm not kiddin....)
He's the Earth and heaven to ya (ya got me there)
Try to keep it hidden (well, DUH!)
Honey, we can see right through ya (I knoooow)
Girl, ya can't conceal it (I never could)
We know how ya feel (I know I should listen to your advice...)
And who you're thinking of (to remain nameless)

No chance, no way
I won't say it, no, no (I mean business)

You swoon, you sigh
why deny it, uh-oh (there's no proooof) 

It's too cliche
I won't say I'm in love (and I do NOT do cliche)

I thought my heart had learned its lesson (J.O.)
It feels so good when you start out (mmmhmmm. But only because he's so nice and gorge)
My head is screaming get a grip girl- (I just can't seem to learn my lesson, can I?)
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out (Not true)
Oh (sing it again sister!)

You keep on denying (just ask Emily!)
Who you are and how you're feeling (Oh do I?......yeah. I do)
Baby, we're not buying 
Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling (I'm not that obsessive, am I?)
Face it like a grown-up (you don't even know how much I wish I could)
When ya gonna own up (not until he does)
That ya got, got, got it bad (ok, FINE!)

No chance, no way  
I won't say it, no, no (didn't you hear me the first time?)

Give up, give in (he is really nice. And pretty cute ;)
Check the grin you're in love (I need to tone down the grin..)

This scene won't play, (I wish a certain scene would though)
I won't say I'm in love

You're doin flips, read our lips (my stomach is)
You're in love (stop saying that!)

You're way off base (don't you see how this could end?)
I won't say it (don't make me turn ugly)
Get off my case (it could end badly!)  
I won't say it (uhxgtyi!sthklu?fcbnyd <---- my feelings)

Girl, don't be proud (I'm not proud, I just-I just...)
It's okay you're in love (I wish it were okay)

Oh (.....please, oh please, oh please, oh please!)
At least out loud, (or to him)
I won't say I'm in love
(so it's come to this, has it?)  


An Ode to Gentlemen

Boys are stupid.
Boys are great.
Boys are weird.
Throw rocks at them.
But here is an ode to the oh so wonderful gentlemen that I know.

This is a crazy boy who I'm convinced is my long lost twin. And I act like his mother 99% of the time. People say we're in love or that we're supposed to be in love, but I disagree. I can't marry my brother sicko! We actually look quite alike in my opinion (but no one ever asks for my opinion). I thank him immensely for dealing with my controlling personality and for putting up with me for almost 5 years. He is sometimes called a womanizer (sadly by me. I'll stop one of these days...) and he gets on my nerves a lot, but I know the real him.

He is a gentleman

The next boy is someone who I've also grown close to over the past 5 years, He is a trooper like the before mentioned gentleman and has dealt with my annoyingness very well. We sit by each other often, we share some letters of names but we're never in love. He's just all around a good guy. And he shares mostly the same thoughts with me about dating and high school and such. He's definitely a friend for life. 

He is a gentleman

Although mistaken for a creeper and a guy who says unneeded awkward things, I now this guys heart is a heart of gold. Again, some people see the need for love to exist because of our unusual partnership, but I don't. I just like having fun times with him and having interesting yet hilarious conversations. I can't wait to see what next year brings with him. 

He is a gentleman

This guy was always there when I was an outcast. We share multiple things in common and most of the time have something to talk about. I've been on a date with this guy and he definitely was a gentleman. Sadly, I see less of him for more saddening reasons. Despite the fact that I see us slowly drifting apart as friends and I now feel a wedge between us,

He is a gentleman

What can I say about this guy? I feel as if I've known him since the pre-existence. Even awkward things aren't awkward around him because our whole friendship is based off of that! I used to once be in love with him (hence the awkwardness) but times have changed and the friendship is still strong. Although I wouldn't mind if he felt the same as I once did ;) There is no doubt

He is a gentleman

I wish this guy was my brother. Cause then I could live with him and have an excuse to say yams and hear all the funny things he says. And even though some people only see his funny side, I've had the pleasure to listen to his intellectual side (most of the time over facebook chat). Little does he know he has taught me so much. He doesn't think he's done anything but he's prepared me for the future with tons of success. I would be nowhere without this friend. I wish I could convert him to a pocketbook with all his...interesting advice.

He is a gentleman

This guy is freaking amazing. Some girls I know love him, but they think he's cheesy and tries to hard to appear smart. But I think it's cute :) We have the weirdest, randomest, deepest, insanest, and awesomest conversations about absolutely nothing (or sometimes the meaning of life). They mean something to me. I just hope they mean something to him. But most like this closet love will continue undiscovered. Sigh. 

He is a true gentleman

Thank you gentleman for all the lessons you've taught me and all the fun times we've had together.
Continue to be who you are and hold those doors open for ladies :)
Love ya!



I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you

Lately I've been thinking a lot about love. I SWEAR this is not another typical teenage heartache. I realize I'm only 16 but sometimes I feel like I think about love differently. Maybe not, but still.

And yes I just have to talk about my new dance coaches, Tia and Marie (Tia is the guy. He's Polynesian. Don't judge his name) You may say I'm obsessed, and....sometimes I can't deny that :) But I observe things about them that maybe others don't. And Tia and Marie are perfect examples of my feelings. Sometimes I stalk people. And again, lately I've been...observing them. If they knew they would probably think I'm some creeper. But I mean it in the most sincerest form of flattery!

Tia and Marie are seriously one of the cutest couples I've ever seen. They've only been married for over a year so I'd still consider them newlyweds. And when I said I wanted to be just like them when I grow up, I meant it. Although the extreme dancing skills would be nice, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about LOVE. The way they act around each other is just.......AH! I don't even have an adjective to describe it. In dance, you can really tell they love each other. Tia touches her like she's a fragile object or like nothing else in the world is more important. When Marie walks into medleys, she walks over to where Tia is sitting, and then he stands up and offers her the chair like a real gentleman should. Or sometimes she just sits on his lap and he puts his arms around her waist. Right about now some people are cringing and thinking that's weird, and gross, and they need to not do that in front of their students. But it's so subtle that I bet no one notices except me, the creepy stalker! 

Then, at the BYU competition on Friday they competed in Amateur Latin. That is the highest level of competition you can dance in without being considered a professional. Plus they got to the semi-finals which is freaking amazing! It was really fun to see them dance because we never got to see Craig and Brittney compete. So of course I was there in the front row to watch them! I was greatly anticipating watching their rumba. A few days earlier, Tia had choreographed our rumba and it was amazing! There was one bit of choreography he gave us where I dropped down, gazed up into Clintons eyes, and he framed my face with his hands. As I mentioned in earlier posts, we were having troubling making it look natural. So Tia grabbed Marie to show us what it was supposed to look like. It was so....passionate. I could only dream of what their routine would look like! Oh baby I was not disappointed. It was full of what I have come to call "Kodak moments" - the moments that just freeze time and you could take a picture right then. It was perfection.

So Amateur includes all five Latin dances: Chacha, samba, rumba, paso doble, and jive. Dancing all dances at the level they are at and in multiple back to back rounds is quite an accomplishment, so I applaud them for that. After each round you could tell they got a little tired, but you could barely notice. But when it got to the semifinal round where there was only one heat and no breaks in between dances, everyone was about dead. So after dancing four dances, the fourth being paso and the last being jive (two of which require the most energy), I thought they were going to cry or faint. Tia then took Marie in his arms and kissed her on the forehead.
I wanted to die. And, contrary to Clinton's and mine ability, they could actually keep a straight face. Well, DUH they could. They weren't acting. It was real. And it's something I want in my life. Obviously not now. But later when I'm with my future husband. I want both the emotional yet physical connection with him, no matter the age. Because even when you're 100 years, you shoul still be madly in love. And see? Aren't I weird? I'm pretty sure I'm the only teenage girl thinking about those sorts of things in this sort of way. Thinking about how real love is supposed to be. Not teenage crushes or relationships. I want rumba love. REAL love. I want to dance rumba with my future husband dang it!    

And I can't wait for:
•My wedding day and the joy of walking out of the temple knowing you're sealed for ETERNITY
•The joy of being able to kiss your husband whenever you please
•The joy of cuddling with him
•The ability to gaze into his eyes without cracking up because it would never be awkward. Ever
•The joy of looking at your first newborn child and raising your children
•The satisfaction of marrying your best friend and knowing you can talk about anything
•Rumba love 



So. Much. Happiness!!

I know the BYU competition was last weekend, but it was so much freaking fun! So it deserves a post no matter how late. And since I like to make lists, here is yet another list of why it was such a marvelous day!

•I got to spend most of the day with my cousin and best friend Miss Lynnsay Ray.

•Even though Clinton and I didn't get a callback in Novice, it was so much fun and I can't until the Provo comp!

•"Um...the president of the whole relief society of the church is sitting behind us so you probably shouldn't say Jesus..."

•I saw Coach Jessica with her baby. And during a general dance, she and her husband went out to dance with him between them. Presh!

•I went to Jamba Juice and couldn't decide whether to get an original or power sized. But I felt good so said what the heck and got the power. Little did I know it was power hour and power sizes were priced as originals. SCORE!

•I saw one of my favorite people Audrey Jensen (well, formally Jensen) and we talked and I just love her to death.

•The opportunity to watch my coaches dance was the best thing of my life.

Gotta love dance


Here we go again

My missionary is in the hospital.

Just thought you should know.

I don't know what's going on

And I'm scared.

Please, Heavenly Father. Spare him


Pink zebras

Ahhh. Finally. The BYU competition has arrived!

I've been waiting so, so long for this. The funny part is it's not like it's anything special. It's just our next one :)

Certain things I've done to prepare are...slightly weird. For example I got home today from the post marching band partay and I decided to try on my latin dress, just to make sure it fit. Since I haven't worn it for almost 6 months, I forgot how much I loved it and then I proceeded to wear it around the house and clean my room in it. It's pink zebra (which I somehow have a minor obsession with) and sparkly.

And then I got a tan today. Yeah yeah. LAUGH. I know it's a super easy target. Call me "fake bake" and "oompa loompa" or ask me if I knew my skin turned orange, but

Really, I don't. Cause yes, I will admit it. I secretly like getting tans.
No, I'm not an obsessive tanner. In all reality I loathe the process of getting one. But I can't deny the joy it brings me to every once in a while see my pasty white skin transform to a sun-kissed glow. It's quite amazing!

Oh dancing.
How I love you!

And I can't wait to reveal our new samba and rumba. They are SMOKIN. I'm quite in love. And needless to say those are my favorite two dances.
Samba: because it's fun. Who doesn't want to party while they dance?
Rumba: because it's slow, controlled, and yes, SPICY

Marie told Clinton and I today that we couldn't laugh tomorrow during rumba (for those non-ballroom dancers out there, a.k.a. The dance of love). She only said that because we couldn't keep a straight face while he was...uh...attempting to... "caress" my face. She told us to pretend we were in love.

Well that didn't work

So we vowed we wouldn't laugh or smile. But it's really hard. Because even though I CAN sometimes be an actor and I really DO love pretending to be in love and dance passionately, Clinton's like my brother and it was somewhat awkward. Eventually though we did it once without cracking up and she complimented us. Little did she know I just imagined another certain boys face over his. It did the trick ;)

Oooooh. Oh oh. And guess what? Craig and Brittney are coming! And I love them with all my being. I love Tia and Marie, but there is always the softest spot in my heart for my old coaches. And I can't wait to see them again!

Last amazing thing about tomorrow. Tia and Marie will be dancing Amatuer Latin. And oh baby
will that be dee-vine.

Cannot wait.


Little wonders

So it has been brought to my attention by a certain special friend that I may or may not be sounding emo. And I do admit the past few posts have been a bit...depressing. But I swear I'm as happy as can be. I just have some inner frustration that needs to be vented somewhere :)

So to do a 180 turn, here are the little things in the past few days that I am thankful for (since it is the month of Thanksgiving and all)

-Today when Laura's phone went off in Symphonic Band. The best part being her ringtone was "Kissin U" by Miranda Cosgrove. Priceless

-Today in English when Rachel threw an animal cracker into my mouth. And it made it. On the first try. BOOM.

-Yesterday when Emily took me out to lunch and we saw DF at Costco and we had interesting conversations about Christmas music and churros. And we awkwardly danced at stoplights for cars next to us to see.

-Clintons awkwardness. I bet it's quite entertaining to watch us attempt rumba. Like when he's supposed to caress my face, he ends up looking like a magician and then we both end up laughing for 10 minutes straight.

-Hobby Lobby. And the things you can get there. Like craft projects that include making pink zebra fabric scrap flip flops. I don't care if it's 30 degrees outside, I WILL wear them one day soon

-Today when that same special friend mentioned above asked if I was alright. It made me feel cared about and special and loved and other warmth bringing things. Thank you. You know who you are.

-Missionary letters that bring a good example to my life.

-Random outbreaks of Saturdays Warrior songs and quotes with my twin all throughout the day. Which brought inspiration for the start of a Saturdays Warrior club next year that I will be in charge of. Thank you very much.

-Ugly sweaters are pretty cool. I don't know why. But they are.

-The fall colors are gorgeous and for some reason I haven't exactly noticed their awesomeness until this year. I have a never-ending quest to find someone who wants to rake the leaves outside the band room with me and jump in them 6 bajillion times or until we're too tired so we go home and bake banana bread. Or macaroni and cheese (only because I'm craving it at the moment). Oh, and possibly document the adventure because it would be soo worth it.

-Coco Chanel. I can always play my clarinet and be happy. The end.

-The fact that tomorrow I will get out of Physics early due to the veterans assembly. That made my entire MONTH.

Life is good.




sorry that's the biggest font I could find

I wish I was making this up

What is this?
                               some kind of contest?

You're like.......an amoeba
yeah......I guess that analogy works

You thrive off attention

  But it's not all your fault

only a teensy bit isn't
                     That teensy  part is the stupid people buying into your ruse
and fueling your attention hungry fire.

If only, if only people had the smarts to see through the flames.

I'm sick of it

I'm sick of looking like the bad guy

 I'm sick of it

I'm sick of you looking like the victim

cuz you're not

 does anybody believe me?

i feel so alone 



Some thanks are in due

Thank you back
thank you for having to be of the curved variety.
It brings me much joy *cue sarcasm*
Like this morning when you woke me up at 4:00 a.m. and I proceeded to attempt to discover that one spot that wouldn't cause pain, but I never found it.

Thank you brain
thank you for being so paranoid all the live long day. Like when I hear people whispering in the halls and I freak. And it's not just random peeps. Friends trigger it too, and that's the scariest part...

Thank you genetics
thanks for being so downright crappy with a capital C. My spine will die, my colon will die, my ears will die, my skin will die, my eyes will die, my brain will die and who knows what else.

Now happiness that I plan to use to cancel out and destroy this negative attitude

Thank you Shankapottamus
thanks for being a gimongo example :)

Thank you hope
thanks for being...well, hopeful. Uncle Roger is apparently "going out" with some chick. AND
she has a little boy! Don't get me wrong, I love me my Uncle Rog. But with his smoking, age, piercing, slight temper, and the fact that he still lives in his mother's basement, we never thought this day would come. With this new development, it just shows that there is a little more hope in the world.

Thank you friends
Thank. You.
Muchos. Gracias
especially at the moment a certain lady named Emily and a certain wonderwoman Lynnsay. Life wouldn't be the same without you and there is not enough thanks in the world to repay y'all

Thank you T-Swift
thank you for expressing feelings which I could never dream of putting into words.

Thank you dreams
thanks for letting me imagine situations that will never happen. It was nice while it lasted :)

No matter how much negative stuff I say (cuz let's face it, even if I try to stop, I'm still gonna vent to someone) I will always have something to look forward to. I'm still a nice person.......

sorta :)