Lessons Learned

So as to not forget the numerous and important lessons I have learned today or in the past few days, I will write them down here no matter how silly. Maybe even YOU can learn something to.....

-Don't stick steaming hot broccoli into your mouth and keep it there. This results in a burnt tongue, even if you DO love broccoli

-Don't stick your favorite and only wand in your boot. You'll forget about it, change your position, and snap it in half like Ron Weasley. 

-Don't wear your favorite and only brown boots to marching band rehearsal which has turned into a muddy wonderland.

-Don't NOT do you Spanish Essay that is apparently 1/3 of your total grade. You'll regret it. I promise.

-Being in a grumpy mood doesn't help anyone

-Studying for your AP World History test is a good thing

-Check your grades more often

-Physics is hell

So you probably only need to know that last thing. No, seriously though. Remember that children.      



Why can't I?

Am I allowed to cry real freaking tears caused by










I can't get it.


I just can't. Why can't I succeed? I try. I try oh so hard.
And tears are coming out of my face. For something stupid.

Nicole, just look at the eternal perspective of life. Maybe that'll help......


And the winner is...

I am SOO glad to be apart of a band who's focus isn't winning. In dance, it's so skewed and different. Provo high is consistently being, well, JERKS. And to be considered good, you have to win. And you have to beat Provo, Extreme, and BYU. That is most of the times our inner goal. It's not spoken, but it's felt. And sometimes I get a little crazy in dance. I'm a whole different person. And sometimes I don't like it.

For example at Thunderball yesterday, the only thing I had on my mind was to beat Provo High. And now looking back on it, I feel like the jerk. But I so badly wanted to beat them at our OWN competition. And we didn't think it was possible with a harder than hard, semi-unclean, trick-filled dance. People told us we did amazing. But the sad part is, I don't know how we did but I'm glad we got first place. Which totally contradicts my band mindset. I need to change that. Our next show will be better 

But in a very successful school where a lot is expected, it's nice to not think about that in one of my many activities. DF said that just because we have Timpviews name stamped on us, it doesn't mean we're good. I agree. But I don't want to succeed BECAUSE we're Timpview. That
would be silly. I just want to be good. 

As Bao and I were standing there at the Alta competition award ceremony, nervously controlling the band, I watched others. I watched Riverton talk smack to us when they took 2 captions. I watched West Lake freak out at attention when they won a ton of things. And I watched Provo humbly accept a place maybe they felt was lower than expected. And for a girl who normally lives for the thrill of competition and winning, it was hard to accept. But I did. I finally realized after three years of being a member of the THS marching band, how to accept defeat. But I wouldn't even call it defeat, because I don't care. It's so nice to not care.

And then DF said something really profound the other day (okay when does he not say something deep?). He stated that he watched us after the BYU show. We had just done our little mini flush and were called to relax.

And we FREAKED out. 

We all knew how special a show that was. And we knew that it was something to make a big deal about. But Dr. Fullmer put it best: we reacted like other bands do when they win first place at the awards ceremony. But we hadn't won anything yet. We didn't have a physical trophy. We had each other and our music. I didn't even notice how true that is until now but we do that at most every competition. And I'm glad most everyone has that mindset. 

Sure it's nice to win first place and gain recognition. And the competition aspect does bring an edge to it. But what if you didn't deserve it? And mainly,
         What if you don't CARE?   


Can't we just do it like the Muslims and throw 7 stones at a pillar?

My. Life. Is. Crazy.

Or should I say insane?

And lots of things happen to me. Some things I caused and others just happened. But everything happens because of a choice you made, right? Eh. I dunno. Either way, I'm sorry for a lot of things. And I know just typing it out isn't gonna make everything better. But...it's a start! And if anything, it's therapuetic for me.

I'm sorry for....

-hitting your car
-not cleaning my room
-not wearing my rubber bands when I should
-not helping you
-not doing my duties
-hearts that I hurt needlessly
-talking behind your back
-not having self-worth in the past
-succumbing to temptation every once in a while
-mooching off of you
-not listening in sacrament meeting
-making things REAllY awkward
-for liking you
-not writing you letters
-making the line too steep
-blaming the line problem on Clinton
-not keeping my promise to you
-not eating lunch with you
-not returning your lab coat and goggles
-judging you
.....and you
-being mean to you
....and you
-being in a bad mood all the time
-trying to take control
-not knowing your name
-freshman year
-hoping you'd quit
-ignoring you

it's not easy to repent.
But I'll make these things right.
Maybe not right away.
But little by little.
I can change


Please hang up and try again

     It started out like any normal General Conference Sunday. The house was dead quiet as everyone attempted to sleep in until pajama church began. But eventually we all aroused from slumber and gathered in the living room. Things were normal - for the most part.
     My eldest brother, Andy, was, as usual, waiting until the last possible moment that he had to join us. My dad was telling him to put away his phone and pay attention - until 20 minutes later, he, himself fell asleep. My madre was gathering her stowed away quilt she is sewing for their bed. It's been a work-in-progress for 4 1/2 years and probably will continue to be one for awhile as she only works on it during conference. And I was in my snuggie, munching on snacks, struggling to keep my eyes open amidst the soothing voices of the Prophet. These are the normal inner workings of the Hopkinson family on conference Sunday. Then things got weird........
     Just as the choir was beginning to sing, we heard our cat, Nacho, impatiently meowing from the balcony above. We could even see him taunting us - poking his little devil-eared head between the bars. But it wasn't the normal meow. It was annoying, almost kitten-like or sick "mew" (yes, when you say it omit the "o" sound). At first, it was funny. Our family likes to make fun of Nacho since he's such a psychotic and entertaining cat. But my dad told me to go upstairs and check on him. Upon further investigation, I found that Nacho had puked up who knows what on the carpet. Immediately he was put outside. I found this funny but no one else was laughing. And you have to know the story behind Nacho's name to get the full effect. So here we go.........

Once upon a time my dad randomly brought home a cat.
That's every girls dream, right? Well I guess it was ok........
But we found out it had an irregular digestion system......
And it had devil horn shaped ears. No joke......
And it spent most its time outside and not cuddling and purring with you.....
And it was a cold blooded killer and ate little creatures in front of you....
But mostly it just "crapped everywhere" (as my dad put it)
So we had to name it to claim ownership. But not just any ole name. Because the Hopkinson family pets are special. They EARN their names. For example:

Bandit the dog stole things.
Chewy the dog chewed things.
Comet the hamster was fast.

Get it?
So anyways we could have lots of fun with this name. He looks like the devil, why not name him Satan? Nah...the bishop and hometeachers might ask questions....Spock? No sirree we are NOT Star Trek fans.
Eventually, our carpet cleaner was getting a workout. And then I suddenly burst out,

"He's had the diarrheas since Easters!"

Hehe. I crack myself up. And for those who don't know. That's from Nacho Libre.
What you say?! Nacho! Exactly. That's where it came from. And it stuck. But we still just mostly call it "cat" because it doesn't answer to anything.

Now back to the present.

So my dad pulled out the carpet cleaner/vacuum and I couldn't hear anything, so I missed all of President Eyring's talk. Sad day.

So then I got some juice. And it was one of those days I thought I was really thirsty, so I poured myself a full glass of the delicious stuff. But I soon realized I wasn't that thirsty and I couldn't finish the juice. That's the worse, ain't it? So, with the heaviest heart, I dumped it down the drain of the sink and proceeded to feel bad for the children in Africa. I am such a waster.

Then I thought of Kevin. He wasn't laying on the ground like he normally is during conference. I was instead. And he is somewhere in Seattle - probably actually listening to conference like a good missionary. And we always look for the 4 handed organist.
I saw him today.
I hope Kevin remembered and saw him too.

Lastly during President Monson's LAST talk during the LAST session of the LAST day, my dad randomly decides to go and check on Andy's car and whaddya know? He discovers a leak of sorts. So outside they go to fix it. Then conference ended and my dad missed the epic voice at the end saying, "This has been a broadcast of the 180th Semiannual General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints..." He always imitates it. He does it so well.

So all in all,
                                            things were weird
Since Kevin left on his mission, things just get weirder and weirder. Sometimes I feel so alone. And I should I guess because there are only 4 people at home now, but that's not what I'm talking about. Our house always has to be in perfect working condition, and my dad is constantly fixing something to maintain that order. It's his life since he retired and its driving me C.R.A.Z.Y. My mom is always working at home or doing something to contribute to band or dance. Andy is just plain addicted to video games.

Everyone just seems so caught up in the logistics of life.
Everything else is right except for the fact that we have become disconnected from each other.