Tick tock

So Saturday was the dreaded All State Auditions. And of course it was the exact same time of our Thoroughly Modern Millie dress rehearsal. And of course half of the pit was in band and was going to audition. So about 10 of us arrived super early hoping to be first and get auditions over with. Which we did.  I was the first one of the day, which prolly wasn't the best for my situation and audition but whatevs.

How was my audition you ask? I don't really know. Honestly. In general, I'm a crappy auditioner. I tense up, get overly nervous, and completely freak out, even though I shouldn't. And I even prepared in advance. I was practicing the prepared piece like a whole month beforehand.
My prepared piece wasn't horrible, but it could've been better. The judge lady asked me to restart after the first line, don't really know why. I screwed up the 16th note run a teensy bit, but we all knew that was gonna happen. However, those high notes?

I owned them. I played them like a boss.
and I played them piano.


The sight reading should have been ridiculously easy but I over analyzed and....we're not gonna talk about it.

I have no idea how I stack up to people around the state. Basically I'm facing the reality that I'm probably not going to get in, but I'm hopeful. So everyday I've asked someone when the results come out, and it's only been 3 days since the audition. Clinton said not for a few weeks and then he said, "As soon as you forget about it, they'll come. So forget about it!"

But I can't forget about it. It's eating me alive and mercilessly taunting me in the face and in my dreams. If I don't get it, goodbye Master Musician - something I've been dreaming about since I was a freshman. I want my name in the band room - my home for the past 4 years - forever. It's gotta happen and I don't know what I'll do if it doesn't. Oh life, why do you keep me waiting?