Prune practices that ought to be prohibited

There exists 3 children whose parents are on a vacation.
Which means.....
Nicole is in charge.
And when Nicole is in charge, things get.....interesting. (Like really though, I'm going to be the weirdest mother in the universe someday, those poor kids....)
But really. It's Harry Potter time ALL the time; I made sure of that.

So, each night the kids wanted to watch a different Harry Potter movie in order. Did I argue? No sir.
But my little 6 year old, she only had one request. It must have kissing. She INSISTED. She wouldn't watch it unless we promised her it had kissing (good thing she fell asleep before the movie ended so my little white lie wasn't discovered....). But after her insisting this, I said to her, "A little too young to be obsessed with such nonsense, eh little miss?" Well she explained to me that she has a best friend...who is a boy....and one day she is going to kiss him and marry him. At least she's got goals, right? She's going places and has plans, which is lot better than I can say......
ANYWAYS.
I told her she should probably fill her life with other things to distract her until the time comes where she is allowed to plant one on a boy, many  years from now.
AND THEN she asked me if I kissed boys.
And I was like, "Oh yeah, I kiss boys alllllllllll  the time."
And then, without missing a beat she said, "No you don't!"
She didn't believe me. Dang.
And then I was like, "Yeah, you're right. Eat your dinner."

Sad day, Jose.
I think this weekend was a gypsy foretelling parts of my future and creepily whispering them into my ear while wagging her long fingers in my face.
"Nicole, you shall have 3 childrennnnnnnnnn."
"Nicole, you shall be singlllllleeeeeeeeeeeee."
"Nicole, you will expose your children to Harry Potter every day of their liveeeeesssssssssss."

Well, at least we know one of those isn't true. Because due to magic needle voodoo and fortune telling best friends, I will have 5 children. And hopefully I will be better equipped and prepared to deal with them than I can currently care for 3 children all by myself for 5 days.

After reminiscing on my experiences last year, I found this picture and had a good chuckle.

You don't understand how true this is until you realize YOU will be the one to drive to the hospital should injuries occur. 

Come to think of it, I don't even know where the hospital is.....

Nicole's world: Day 1

Day one and I've already attempted to silence them.

HA. JK GUYS.

I'm a great sitter.

It took us 3 hours and approximately 400 back and forth trips with 2 quart pitchers to fill up that sucker of a pool. BUT I TAUGHT THOSE CHILDREN PERSEVERANCE AND DEDICATION SO WHO CARES.

And it all ended in a waterfall of love.

I swam with a turtle. Deal with it.

Classic round of Monopoly. Where I technically won even though the game ended on a note of tantrums and accusations of cheating. I imagine this is somewhat how the real world will work...

Slip 'n slidin' like a boss. 

A cold, wet, boss.

I have come to the conclusion that there is nothing, NOTHING more precious than reading the first chapter of Harry Potter to 3 newcomers of the wizarding world. And then picking up a tiny, sleeping 6 year old in your arms after reading to carry her to bed. Especially after saying, "Nicole, you look like you should be in a movie because of your strawberry blond hair." 

I'll take that compliment, little miss. I'll take it with a big smile and melted heart.

1000 Taiwanese Proverbs

Life has a lot of irony. Like Alanis Morissette and her need for a knife when she has 10,000 spoons. Poor girl. Maybe this will cheer her up.

The point is, it was ironic that the girl from Provo, Utah roomed with the girl from Taiwan. Culture shock, right? Okay, more like a culture nuclear bomb. But yeah, I remember stalking the crap out of my future roommate and seeing all these Asian characters as statuses and just staring at them and just going WUT. But thankfully, Facebook can translate them for you at the click of a button! So I did just that and recorded all the greatest ones for your viewing pleasure and suddenly felt about life in a better way.

What are language barriers if you can't have fun with things lost in translation?



"Through the lens, we can often see that spread out of the feelings hide"


"In a two-hour hop dance crazy dance
Sequelae of foot pain is the first super super sour!"


"Someone asked me Suspenders look great where to buy
I can only embarrassed to go back ..... Taiwan ...."


"Willing to wait forever for the food in Taiwan"


"Temperament? Talk about it"


"But obviously only three postcards stuffed a bunch of people"


"Taiwan people when most United?
In the United States completely unable to find site ob 4:30 I really was too weak to get up and tragedy, obediently went back to sleep face book text relay ... My hostel filled with x-cries eight eight eight."


"It's freaking cold in Utah!! I just want my bed....."


And my personal favorite:

"I do chores in a hostel!"

We all did, hun.


Thanks for putting up with me and my staunch American views, Sharon. Remember when I ate your Asian food and had to spit it out because it tasted like a styrofoam ball covered in nuts? Or that time you gave us all Asian names? OH OH or when we skyped with your Taiwanese friends and they asked me why I didn't -have a boyfriend. That sure did boost my self-esteem, so I thank you for that.
Through all that culture sharing, I'm just glad we both shared a mutual love of good 'ole American chicken nuggets.
Even if you did eat them with a fork and knife...

Always

I started reading Harry Potter at the ripe, young age of 6.

We lived in Texas and a thunderstorm had caused a power outage. My mom, being the wise woman she is, brought us scared children to the living room with a candle and decided to read aloud from the newest book on our bookshelf. Well, my  bookshelf actually. I'm the only one who ever did any reading as the boys thought only Nazis read books. Welcome to my life. Anyways, I remember very clearly her reading the very first page aloud.

"Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four 

Privet Drive, were proud to say that they 

were perfectly normal, thank you very much."

With all my might I used every ounce of my 6 year old brain to concentrate on the words she was saying and string them together into a story. We only got through the first chapter before my mom sent us back up to bed, but I was enthralled. WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN TO HARRY. You don't just leave a baby on a doorstep and expect a 6 year old to be happy.

So the next morning, I stole the book, plopped down on the couch, and didn't stop reading until I had finished it. And from then on, me and Harry Potter were history. Given I didn't understand it quite like I do now - I thought Hogwarts was a meat packing plant where Harry was sent to work and Hagrid scared the crap outta me - but I loved it nonetheless. Receiving Harry Potter books for birthdays was expected and when I had nothing else to do during the summer, I picked up my tattered copies and read them endlessly.

So in honor of my favorite thing in the entire world located just under America on my favorites list, I've whipped up a list of the 20 best things (in no particular order) about Mr. Potter and his many adventures.

WHY I LOVE HARRY POTTER:


1. Because even Hermione had her blonde moments too.

2. Eleven year old Harry just takes on Voldemort like it's no biggie. Eleven year old Nicole was still playing with barbies and figuring out how to match her clothes.

3. If Harry can have an arch enemy, so can I.

4. You don't need a best friend that's a girl to feel happy and complete. Two guys are all you need, really.

5. Because you become friends over beating up a troll in a bathroom. Now that's  true friendship

6. No matter how stupid Harry, Ron, and Hermione's plans were, they still went through with them because (most of the time) it was the right thing to do. "Have you ever heard of a plan where so many things could go wrong?"

7. It goes to show that anybody can go from a whiny, annoying adolescent to a mature adult. Case in point: Ginny and/or Hermione. Let's face it, no one really like them in their younger years.

8. The subtle humor that JK constantly puts in the pages. Quotes like these make my day:
"We don't send people to Azkaban just for blowing up their aunts!"

"He'd escaped Lord Voldemort three times; he wasn't completely useless...."

"It's obvious what this means. There's going to be loads of fog tonight." -Ron

"Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life?" -Harry

"You can't give a dementor the old one-two."

"What now? Have they sentenced you to anything? Do your lot have the death penalty?" -Uncle Vernon

SPHINX: "You are very near your goal. The quickest way is past me."
HARRY: "So . . . So will you move, please?

"Just because its taken YOU three years to notice, Ron, doesn't mean no one ELSE had spotted I'm a girl!" -Hermione


9. I love that they say "skiving" class instead of "ditching". Because anything is better than saying "sluffing".

10. From what we know, wizards only start school when they're 11, and then they are done when they are 17 when at that time they are considered adults. THAT'S ONLY 7 YEARS OF SCHOOLING. Then they can get real jobs and go do whatever the heck they want. Maybe that's why this whole wizarding life always appealed to me...

11. Dumbledore's words of wisdom:
"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

12. British children opened up a whole new world of insults to me including "eat slugs" and "get stuffed". Ooooooh, scary.

13. It's proof that class systems exist. Case in point: NOBODY LIKES A HUFFLEPUFF. It's true. Sorry all you badgers out there. We all know you're bottom of the food chain.

14. One word: Dobby.

15. Mafalda Hopkirk's name. She's probably my alter ego of the wizarding world.

16. CHO CHANG WHO ARE YOU. Are you Asian? Are you human? Where did you come from? I guess the only thing you're good for is giving Harry his first kiss so he doesn't look like an idiot in front of Ginny you disposable, love-monger you.

17. HARRY TALKS IN ALL CAPS JUST LIKE THIS. Well, most of the time he does. When he's angry and stuff. Which is a lot.

18. One of the Gryffindor passwords was abstinence. Thanks for that message, J.K. Rowling.

19. The wizarding world in the 7th book is what America would look like had the Constitution not been created. So take that, anti-federalists. Ha, just kidding. I'm just trying to throw my American Heritage knowledge at you.

20. It's where I got the name of this blog. Provided to you courtesy of Ron Weasley and Felix Felicis.

Too. Many. Feelings.

On some occasions, like today for example, my brain just shuts down so it doesn't explode with the amount of feelings that could potentially leak from the open cavities.
I CAN'T HANDLE IT.
So thankfully, Fleetwood Mac saves the day.