Here's what happened:
Emma and I were busy wining and dining with the President himself............ just kidding. Fooled ya. We were busy taking a nap on the Capitol grounds and basking in the glorious sunlight when my dear cousin Amy - who was gracious enough to house us homeless college kids at her place for the week - texted me asking if we would be interested in attending "an orchestra concert at the Library of Congress" that night. Well OF COURSE WE DID. If I want to fit in and be popular, I have to attend such notable events of the district.
What I thought "orchestra concert" meant was a fine night of classical music (lower case 'c' to indicate the genre, NOT the era) where they perhaps might play Percy Grainger because I'm naive enough to think that every orchestra and symphony loves Percy Grainger as much as I do. Was Grainger on their repertoire? No. But I was excited nonetheless. I would be able to use my newly discovered Music 101 knowledge and impress all the bureaucrats at the concert. Someone so young as I shouldn't know as much as I should, they would say to me. We would then hold up our pinkies and chat about how popular we were. But really. Imma be brutally honest here, Emma and I were defs the youngest in the auditorium, by a good decade.
CUE MODERN MUSIC
Now don't get me wrong, I like modern music just as much as the next guy in the psych ward does. Heck, the Timpview Band even played modern music. I can be a serious musician; I appreciate the arts. But was I prepared for the night of music I was given that night? Not in the slightest.
I maintained composure as long as I could. It was enjoyable for the first piece since I could easily appreciate and relate to the amazing clarinetists. Then, they began to pull out all the stops (<---- see how I'm using all my Music 101 knowledge?).
The music just got weirder and weirder and soon enough the musicians were just doing freaky stuff that I was convinced I was being inducted into a cult of some local Indian tribesmen. I tried so hard to appreciate it. I thought to myself, "Well, maybe if you look at it in a different way, you can better enjoy it the way it meant to be enjoyed."
So I started listening to it with one eye closed.
That didn't do much.
Then I tried rapidly blinking my eyes as fast as I could!
That was fun, I'd totally recommend that. It heightened my experience greatly.
I even watched and listened to them with my eyes out of focus to make everything blurred.
THAT WAS GREAT.
But really. I was doing amazing....
And then they pulled out the Jew's Harp.
It was a JEW'S HARP PEOPLE. So basically I was laughing my head off, but in attempts to control that laughter, I started crying because I was keeping it in. I couldn't stop thinking of all the funny texts I would send to my dear old brother - the Jew's harp lover - after the concert. And it just went downhill from there.
Anyways, I don't really know why I decided to tell you this story. I just thought modern music could easily be appreciated. Obviously I was wrong. Moral of the story: Nicole shouldn't go to fancy, upscale concerts. Also, Nicole should live in Washington D.C. Yep.