hello world

"I hate children. I never want kids."

Okay that's not really true. But that did indeed regretfully come out of my mouth when my mom asked me how primary went on my 2nd week of being an officially called primary teacher of the Valiant 9's.

Here me out: I really do love kids. But sometimes there are situations where I have absolutely no idea what to do. Like today for example. Let me introduce you to our problem child - David*.

David hadn't shown up to class for a couple of weeks, so I hadn't had the chance to teach him yet. Multiple adults, upon finding out I taught David's age group, even went as far as to warn me about him. But being a cousin and babysitter to some crazy chilluns, I figured I could handle him.
Boy, was I wrong.
I felt embarrassed that I was his teacher and couldn't control him. On the other hand, no one really could. The primary presidency had to intervene a couple times and I even found myself praying, "Please, Heavenly Father, never let me have a child like David." Horrible. I know. I'll repent someday. But I even went as far as to take away the treats I promised because most of them were irreverent and rowdy. I know, I'm supes mean.

But don't you see? THIS, my friends, is why I believe I shouldn't be a teacher. Sitting directly in with a whole class of children, none of whom you can choose, all of which I'm responsible for their education. Random youngsters who may or may not want to be there learning from you. What if one of the rascals was problematic and a rabble rouser like young David? WHAT WOULD I DO?? I guess I think that sometimes it will be one of those 'miracle cases' or something from a movie where all the sudden we will just get along and I'll understand the kid and he'll listen to me and he'll one day grow up and become the President. Which, hey, if it happens, it happens, and I'll try to help him get there if that's what he wants.

On the much brighter side, I love primary. I love the feeling I get in primary. I love the songs we sing in primary. I love it all. The spirit is so strong there - almost the strongest I've ever felt. Every time I hear the children sing songs like "I Am a Child of God" and "I Love to See the Temple" brings me close to tears. Honestly. The songs are so simple yet so true and reflecting back on them now as an adult when I can actually understand the meaning of it all brings me closer to my Heavenly Father and points me in the right direction. I am so grateful that the primary president took a chance on me and, knowing I would only be teaching for 6 weeks, gave me this opportunity. The kids are incredibly smart and amaze me each Sunday on what they know. I never thought I'd say this, but, they truly are examples to me. Yes, even David.

*Name changed for child's protection

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