9.08.2013

#foreveralone

I attend BYU.
Brigham Young University.

(look at dem mountains....mmmmmmm......)

In case you're not familiar with BYU and it's culture, it is more widely known for it's soberness, it's founder being a polygamist, being the birthplace of Jimmermania, it's cheap tuition, it's somewhat successful and inconsistent sports teams, and it's underlying purpose to marry off each student before they graduate from college or each girl before the end of their freshman year- whichever comes first.

That however, is NOT one of my goals. I came to college for an education and an education I will receive. Whatever happens in the midst of all that, well...let's just say marriage isn't in my range of thinking or fathoming abilities quite yet.
So it's inevitable that you come across those girls. Yes, those girls. If you attend BYU, you already know exactly what I'm talking about. Most likely out of state, decently personable, attention-seeker, devoutly LDS, sometimes high maintenance....Yep. It doesn't get much better than that combination. We've all had them- whether it be a roommate, a "friend" (more like acquaintances in my case) or just that random girl in your ward, but she exists. She's the one whose goal - whether she voices it or not - is to get a ring and get out; the one who can't control her mouth on the first Sunday of your new ward; the one who is holding a guy's hand before week 1 of school ends and after only hour 5 of meeting him.

If you're like me, when above situation happens to someone within your sphere of obligatory acquaintances, you ask yourself, "Is there something wrong with me? Do I smell bad? Do I have a sign on my forehead that says, 'I'm single and happy'?" Because most likely, this isn't happening to you. Bravo. I mean, in all reality, I am  single and perfectly  happy, but sometimes a little human contact never hurt anybody, right? Right. And I continuously see this happen with naive girls who aren't really that naive because they know for a fact they are manipulating men with their extrovert and eager flirtations. I'm not jealous in any aspect of what they have "going for them", and I knew this was coming the minute I applied and was accepted to my dear and beloved Brigham Young University. BUT I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. So now I ask you to listen to Bill Nye and




We've all heard that saying that goes something along the lines of "you can't know what flavor you like until you try multiple flavors." As true as that may be in a dating sense, I'd like to question this ingenious saying. If we put this in terms of ice cream because, well - who doesn't love ice cream and this analogy always ends up in those terms anyways - isn't there a point where you've tried so many "flavors" that your palette turns into a freezing mess of numb flesh and taste buds? Is it really necessary to try them all? Just because Baskin-Robbins offers 31 flavors doesn't mean it's required for you to stand in line for a good half hour and request to sample them all. No one's buying the act if you ask to try pistachio because you think this time you'll like it. Newsflash: YOU WON'T. At this point after sampling that many flavors, we can see that you're just here for the free ice cream anyways and you'll be full before you get to the double scoop waffle cone that everyone else came for. Idiot.

And just because I found this on the internet and is slightly relevant because it has to do with ice cream and Provo, I'm going to include this picture for the world to see:


So, after my little rant and rave party, you now think I'm just the other typical BYU girl who adds #foreveralone after every picture I post on the Facebook. Well, even though that's the title of this post, you're wrong. I won't be forever alone. I just already know which flavor of ice cream I like, and I'm eagerly waiting for that flavor to make it's appearance because it's special edition and it's only available during certain months of the year.
.....
And now I've taken this analogy too far. Maybe it's because I'm hungry. Maybe not. Either way, let this be a lesson to all to stop eating all the ice cream and just pick one, goshdangit.

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