Why I'm a Sociology Major

A couple facts about Sociology:

1) It’s probably the shortest major to complete offered at BYU, coming in at a simple 48 credit hours.

2) It’s an open major, meaning I don’t have to slave away for those unnecessary A’s that I am definitely not receiving and I don’t have to put together an application and pray the Gods feel favorable to me that day and let me into their secret club.

3)  It’s considered easy and let’s get real- a lot of the student athletes heavily involved in the winning sports teams major in it because it has that reputation *cough* KYLE COLLINSWORTH IS IN MY SOCIAL RESEARCH METHODS CLASS *cough*

But disregarding all those awesome facts up thurr ^, let’s talk about how it’s actually been really hard for me…

 I came into college and I thought I wanted to be a math teacher. If everyone has a thing in high school, my “thang” (besides band…..duh) was math. Excluding calculus from this equation (ha. Get it?), I was GOOD at math. I excelled at it and I enjoyed doing my math homework at night. Why, you ask? It had set formulas and it had set processes. When doing these processes, you had no reason to fear that the correct answer was not going to appear. If it did, you were simply just doing the equation wrong and you could try again.

Cue college and the entrance of sociology and the tumultuous applause for Nicole who finally chose a major.

People have always intrigued me. I love asking questions such as “Why did that person do that?” or “Why did society vote for that presidential candidate?” or even “Why did that annoying bystander try to talk to me on campus?”. Yeah, things like that. Sociology allows me to do that. Yes, it may be considered a science and have set processes (occasionally. Only occasionally), but most of the time we have to turn into those free thinkers writing essays about interpreting Karl Marx’s theory of society and Durkheim’s study of suicide and random theories that go over my head 99% of the time. It’s made me view life in a different respect and pushed me to intellectual limits I thought reserved for smart people (a.k.a. DEFS NOT ME). 

I’ve realized lately that no matter how much I claim to (and actually do) hate people, people are so incredibly imperative in this life. Not just one person, but people as a whole- people as a society. I may be an introvert and avoid small talk like Ebola, but I cannot deny the extent that human interaction and understanding human relationships in society is imperative to our success and to our salvation. Yes, salvation #iwentthere

If Heavenly Father didn't want to us to use each other- our brothers and sisters- to travel this journey called life together, then why did he put us on this earth together? If it was as simple as living on a small cottage sized planet alone that was reserved for each of His children then you could tell me that your relationships don’t matter. But here I am typing this while I hear the conversations of my roommates in the kitchen, so the answer is no.

I am the first to admit that people anger me; I put too much trust into human beings and then they spit in my face and call it rain. I've been betrayed, insulted, abandoned, and belittled by too many people I once gave the title “best friend”. Looking back though, would I change those relationships? Would I avoid them knowing what was to come? Stupid and weak Nicole says heck yessssss. But 20 year Nicole who has a couple years under her belt that she never wears says BRING IT SNITCHES CUZ I’LL DO IT AGAIN.

So back to the original question- Why am I a Sociology major? Because very, very deep down, I love people. I am grateful for the lessons they teach me, the challenges they present me, the shoulders they give me to cry on, and the hands they give me to hold. The truth is, I couldn't go through this life without each and every single person on this planet, whether they call me friend or foe. Whether they realize and/or like it or not, they can’t get through this life without me. And if I can make it just a little easier for people to get through life, then majoring in Sociology and studying social theory until 3 am has been all worth it.

But for right now..... this picture I created accurately depicts how I feel about my Sociology classes this semester:

However, if you are not familiar with this picture, then take a gander at this video clip of one of my all time movies of childhood and enjoy.

I may not have a great job or future lined up for me once graduation hits, but I sure do love the people I get to experience it all with!

Anywhere, I would have followed you

"I really do care about you and I just want you to be happy."

You cared, so you moved all your stuff out without telling me so I’d come home to an empty apartment? Mmmmhmmmm. You care.

You wanna know what I did though after I realized what had happened?

I laughed.

I laughed.

Were you expecting that reaction? Because I definitely wasn’t. Based on past experiences, I was pleasantly surprised my emotions had become immune to your crap.

After I laughed, I called my best friends who cared (and still “care” might I add) about what was going on in my life to tell them the exciting news.

You literally erased me from your life. I know you did. And you know you did. And I honestly don’t know what I did to deserve that. But as mentioned above, you never communicated anything to me. At any time. It’s just a good thing that at this point in my life I don’t care and I don’t have depression and problems with self-worth like I did before. Because YOU of all people knew how your decisions and actions would have impacted me if I did. But don’t worry- in case you actually were wondering- I’m fine.

You promised me countless times you wouldn’t become like the red-headed devil who haunted my memories and started the process of the vulnerable and self-deprecating person I was to become. Now I’ve discovered you were exactly like her all along. I never was good enough and the promise made was just words put into the air. And apparently, according to your judgment because you “care” about me, I’m better off without you.

Don’t worry though. I have someone else to take fun and artsy pictures with and do arts and crafts with and live with and be my bridesmaid. I just sincerely and honestly hope you can find someone else too.




On a lighter note, here's a funny because I'm in a mood having slightly to do with unicorns.

Word Vomit

I used to care.

I used to care so much that it killed me inside- literally tearing away at my soul and eating away at my spirit

I used to care so much that I became depressed and struggled to eat, to sleep, to smile, to function, to live.

I used to care so much that-

No.

I used to care.

But now,

I couldn't care any less.

Disappear when anybody's close

Let me tell you about my day real quick-

I ate a poptart.

I was productive at work.

I had a rendezvous with Cami.

I drank a lemonberry slushie from Sonic.

I drove up a canyon.

I played in a river.

I danced in the empty, winding, canyon road.

I escaped some bees while braiding flowers in Cami's hair.

I bought Coldplay's new album.

I listened to Coldplay's new album.

I realized how little I care about you.

I smiled.

I was happy.

And I haven't been this happy in quite some time.

Here's to the people that help keep it that way.

#bigBlittleb

God can be so hilarious

Hi.

Hey.

How ya doin'?

This semester is finally over and I'm still here. I came out alive, and things have changed.....oh, how they have mightily changed.
Life is moving along and everyone is making something of themselves, and I'm just here watching it all happen. I know people who have gotten married, who have gotten engaged, who have gotten straight A's, who have graduated, who have started dating, who have gone on missions, internships, foreign countries.....and I'm just here....living 'n stuff. 

Regardless of all that.... I am happy. I really am happy. This year....I honestly had no idea what this year would hold for me. Nothing significant really appeared on the radar. Maybe nothing ginormous like a ring, or say, a baby happened (ha. wouldn't THAT be funny?), but a couple notable things have changed me and allowed me to become more like the person I want to be. I went through an extremely dark period of my life that I'm sure only a handful of people knew about. And it's not something I was proud of. But it made me stop and realize that I and only I have control over my life and my resulting happiness. I have now made it my personal goal to wake up every morning, making the choice to be happy and help change the lives of others around me.


And as a wrap up of this golden semester, here are some behind the scene photos that never made it to the FB.

I donated blood for the very first time. And oh, what an accomplishment for me that was.

O + in the houuuuuse

Kevinsky. He beat us all to the punch. Congrats, bro.

Cami, Cami, Cami. How glad I am to have met you and gotten to know you this semester.

Thanks for being my big b. 

#blessed

This makes up for that one time you pushed me into the dirt.

This little missy got her back handspring!

And did I mention she's only 7?

Looking at this multiple times a day is what got me through finals week, my friends.

Love these kiddos.

No comment, really. Except for I love these guys.

Realizing that my college experience is already halfway over. 

I joined a band that lasted all of one rehearsal.

#onehitwonders

Mom: "I don't know where to put my hands.."

Dad: "Okay now let's take a serious one."

Whoever thought it was a good idea to make me a manager of these people was on crack. 

Many late night Stats study sessions were had. 

BUT NO MORE.

I bought a car, y'all. Adulthood is real. And so are car payments. 

And if I could only explain this to you, I would. 

But I can't.

So let's just say I pick Cats Knot.

Hey y'all

And you thought we wouldn't be having one of these?

PSYCH.

(ha that's funny because I'm a Soc major, not a Psych major.)

Oh goodness, it's late.

I'm back

WITH COCA COLA OF COURSE

Honestly. Who did you think I was, not drinking a can of Coca-Cola?

This time, Tweety is comforting me.

But not comforting my head that needs rest.

Pippy Longstocking has always been a hero of sorts for me. 

Writin dem papers at 4 in the morning and life couldn't be better

Except when you tempt me with Coke again...

I literally can't resist.

Or take my eyes off it.

Told ya.

Oh, and the purpose of these glasses is NOT to look like a hipster.

But to help me with my paper.

happy finals

P.S. this is my favorite tradition of life now. So appreciate it. And get ready for SUMMER 2014

Fall 2012

Winter 2013

Fall 2013

Grow Till Tall

[Cue emotional throwup]

It’s amazing how I’ve perceived things have changed in a short year, yet so little truly has.

A year ago I was wondering what kind of people I would meet, who I would spend most of my days with (if I would spend time with anyone at all), who I would live with, and, to be blatantly honest, I was definitely not looking forward to the lonely summer that was presented to me with a smug grin from the universe. I was moving back home. I was working my tail off. And I was going through the motions of happiness because the future seemed dim and lonely.

Heavenly Father - through a series of events - changed that mindset and attitude and blessed me beyond belief. But, as the scriptures so blatantly say, what he giveth, he can taketh away. And taketh away he has. Ripped from my stiff and unwilling fingers, I was left in a pool of emotions and depression.

In my journal a yearish ago, I wrote “Lately I have just been trying to live Heavenly Father’s plan for me and accept His will. I mean, I made the decision to not go on a mission with his help, but after deciding that, it’s just up to him I guess. I don’t really know where my life is taking me, but I trust His plan and take it in small steps and small decisions.”

And I guess I’m back to the exact same place I was a year ago when that entry was penned. Except now, I’m extremely mad at myself for allowing Nicole 2014 to get back to the same place that Nicole 2013 was. I look back at this past year and wonder, is there anything I could have done different? Done better? Shouldn't I have grown, progressed and have something more than a broken spirit to show for a whole 365 days? After giving everything I was into multiple relationships and investing time and emotion into many people, my answer is still “I don’t know.” I probably could have done so much more, but I would have been left with the same results- being left out to dry by the people I love and the people who said loved me because that's just a thing that always happens to people- especially people named Nicole Hopkinson.  That’s not a bad thing- I mean, people live their lives and nothing is permanent because that’s like, the Plan of Salvation, I just am more sensitive to it than I'd like to admit. However, I cannot express how grateful I am that I learned early on in life that the Atonement of Jesus Christ is not just for sin and repentance, but also for pain and shattered hearts. It is the only thing that can save me from myself and my own harsh judgments. And if there is one thing I learned from General Conference this weekend, it’s that I must access the Atonement and live my life with a disposition of gratitude so that I can combat those feelings that bring sorrow. President Uchtdorf’s talk was for me. And I’ve never experienced anything like that before where I knew a specific talk was inspired revelation I was meant to hear because everything applied to me. It was everything I needed to hear and more. It taught me that the good things we have in this life can “end”, but in reality, they will continue on into the eternities. And oh what a reassuring statement that was for me.

I get on Facebook every day and I encounter more posts than not of relationship statuses (stati?). And sometimes it plain ticks me off.  Engaged. Dating. Friends. More friends. IT NEVER ENDS. Why does everyone else get to experience that or other happiness that results from it? Why not me? Haven’t I done enough to deserve happiness? I have given everything I am to serve others and be a reliable person when others are in need, and what have I gotten from it? Only a finger or two of people I can count that have stuck by me in my darkest times. I'm ashamed to say that I haven't been grateful for those few brave souls and my happiness and joy should not - and WILL NOT - be based on or controlled by others. The only thing that I should gauge that after is my relationship with the Savior and realizing how proud I [hope that I] make my Heavenly Father.

Everyone else may change and break promises and leave me in the dust, but through all that I can truly say that I know who I am, and I will never veer from that and disappoint others. No one may want me, but Heavenly Father always does. I chose to come to the life and I will finish it strong. My head will be held high and I will be proud and happy with myself. Always.